Few people enjoy the company of individuals whose attitudes are persistently negative. Yet many of us tolerate the critical chatter that can originate within our own minds. Since we are so used to the stream of self-limiting, critical consciousness that winds its way through our thoughts, we are often unaware of the impact these musings have on our lives. It is only when we become aware of the power of such thoughts that we can divest ourselves of them and fill the emptiness they leave with loving, peaceful affirmations. Many people, upon paying careful attention to their thinking patterns, are surprised at the negativity they find there. But when we take notice of involuntary thoughts in a nonjudgmental way, we initiate a healing process that will eventually allow us to replace intimidating and upsetting self-talk with positive, empowering thoughts.
While the occasional downbeat or judgmental thought may have little impact on your contentment, the ongoing negativity that passes unnoticed can have a dampening effect on your mood and your outlook. When you are aware of the tone of your thoughts, however, you can challenge them. Try to be conscious of your feelings, opinions, and judgments for a single day. From sunup to sundown, scrutinize the messages you are feeding into your subconscious mind. Consider your thoughts from the perspective of a detached observer and try not to judge yourself based on the notions that come unbidden into your mind. Simply watch the flow of your consciousness and make a note of the number of times you find yourself focusing on gloomy notions or indulging in self-directed criticism.
As you become increasingly aware of your patterns of thought, whether positive and negative, you will gradually learn to control the character of your stream of consciousness. Endeavor always to remember that the images and ideas that pass through your mind are transient and not a true representation of who you are. In training yourself to be cognizant of your thoughts, you gain the ability to actively modulate your mood. The awareness you cultivate within yourself will eventually enable you to create a foundation of positivity from which you can build a more authentic existence.
Source: Madisyn Taylor, DailyOm Newsletter
http://www.dailyom.com
“Practice silence and you will acquire silent knowledge. In this silent knowledge is a computing system that is far more precise and far more accurate and far more powerful than anything that is contained in the boundaries of rational thought.”
— Deepak Chopra
If there’s one way I could describe my day-to-day experience of life, it would be that it’s very surreal. Just talking to people, anyone, is surreal.
It’s no surprise I have a rich inner/mental life, and I believe that surrealism is indicative that my brain is wired to allow me to be mostly present within a part of me that is not on the surface enough to be fully involved in my constant interactions with people and with my experience of life. I identify more with a part of myself that is beyond these things.
As a result, it makes it more difficult for me to participate in these things as it creates this constant disconnect, but not quite so disconnected that I’m disassociated from all these interactions completely. Just enough to create that sense of surrealism and a draw to solitude.
Combating Emotional Vampires
From Combating Emotional Vampires On-Line Course
The following is an excerpt from the “Combating Emotional Vampires” on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.
Relationships are always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It’s important to be surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe and secure. It’s equally important to pinpoint the emotional vampires, who, whether they intend to or not, leech our energy.
To protect your sensitivity, it’s imperative to name and combat these emotional vampires. They’re everywhere: coworkers, neighbors, family, and friends. In Energy Psychiatry I’ve treated a revolving door of patients who’ve been hard-hit by drainers–truly a mental health epidemic that conventional medicine doesn’t see. I’m horrified by how many of these “emotionally walking wounded” (ordinarily perceptive, intelligent individuals) have become resigned to chronic anxiety or depression. Why the blind spot? Most of us haven’t been educated about draining people or how to emancipate ourselves from their clutches, requisite social skills for everyone desiring freedom. Emotional draining is a touchy subject. We don’t know how to tactfully address our needs without alienating others. The result: We get tongue-tied, or destructively passive. We ignore the SOS from our gut that screams, “Beware!” Or, quaking in our boots, we’re so afraid of the faux pas of appearing “impolite” that w! e become martyrs in lieu of being respectfully assertive. We don’t speak out because we don’t want to be seen as “difficult” or uncaring.
Vampires do more than drain our physical energy. The super-malignant ones can make you believe you’re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn’t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage that’s more of a slow burn. Smaller digs here and there can make you feel bad about yourself such as, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “It’s not lady-like to interrupt.” In a flash, they’ve zapped you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth.
This is my credo for vampires: Their antics are unacceptable; you must develop a successful plan for coping with them. I deeply believe in the merciful message of The Lord’s Prayer to “forgive people their trespasses,” but I’m also a proponent of preventing the unconscious or mean-spirited from trespassing against us. Taking a stand against draining people is a form of self-care and canny communication that you must practice to give your freedom legs.
What turns someone into an emotional vampire? First, a psychological reason: children often reflexively mimic their parents’ most unflattering traits. A self-absorbed father can turn you into a self-absorbed son. Early modeling has impact. Studies of Holocaust survivors reveal that many became abusive parents themselves. The second explanation involves subtle energy. I’ve observed that childhood trauma–mistreatment, loss, parental alcoholism, illness–can weaken a person’s energy field. This energy leakage may condition those with such early wounds to draw on the vitality of others to compensate; it’s not something most are aware of. Nevertheless, the effects can be extreme. Visualize an octopus-like tendril extending from their energy field and glomming onto yours. Your intuition may register this as sadness, anger, fatigue, or a cloying, squirrelly feeling. The degree of mood change or physical reaction may vary. A vampire’s effects can stun like a sonic blast or make you! slowly wilt. But it’s the rare drainer that sets out to purposely enervate you. The majority act unconsciously, oblivious to being an emotional drain.
Let me tell you the secret of how a vampire operates so you can outsmart one. A vampire goes in for the kill by stirring up your emotions. Pushing your buttons throws you off center, which renders you easier to drain. Of all the emotional types, empaths are often the most devastated. However, certain emotional states increase everyone’s vulnerability. I myself am most susceptible to emotional vampires when I feel desperate, tired, or disempowered. Here are some others:
When encountering emotional vampires, see what you can learn too. It’s your choice. You can simply feel tortured, resentful, and impotent. Or, as I try to do, ask yourself, “How can this interchange help me grow?” Every nanosecond of life, good, bad, or indifferent, is a chance to become emotionally freer, enlarge the heart. If we’re to have any hope of breaking war-mongering patterns, we must each play a part. As freedom fighters, strive to view vampires as opportunities to enlist your highest self and not be a sucker for negativity. Then you’ll leave smelling like a rose, even with Major-League Draculas.
Had another migraine last night. First full migraine since the last one recorded on this blog. I’m not sure what triggered it, and initially I wasn’t sure if it was a migraine or not, but nausea accompanied it and it got more painful with time. Finally slept it off. Today I don’t feel much of a “postdrome,” though I was pretty worn out today despite having slept a good amount, so that could be considered one. So far the only thing I can see as triggering the migraine would be stress and possibly dehydration (though I doubt the latter since I’m not that dehydrated).
Just woke up from a violent, torturous, screwed up dream, where I was merely the observer, thank god. Sometimes I wonder how my brain plays out these elaborate and detailed dreams. The brain is such an interesting organ, I wish we understood it more than we do. I woke up from the dream mildly anxious.
Oh well, time to delve into a small Flash CS6 ad. It’s been a few years since I’ve used flash. I try to avoid it.
After this last migraine I had (about a week ago), I actually had somewhat of a postdrome phase. Fatigue and irritability afterwards, but most notably I’ve had what feels like enlarging and constricting of blood vessels in my head intermittently accompanied by mild pain. It’s not that bothersome, but I just wonder why it’s happening. It feels like almost the beginning of a migraine when it happens, then goes away within seconds. For some peace of mind, I asked a doctor online (on those websites where you can pay to submit a question to a doctor and they respond within the next few hours). One of them gave me this response, which I believe is fairly accurate:
Hello,
Thanks for posting your query.
The minor spasms that you are feeling is likely to be a milder form of migraine that has persisted after the attack is over. This is not a worrisome finding and the symptoms are likely to subside on their own in next few days.
For such symptoms, try these lifestyle modifications:
1) Go to sleep and wake up at the same time each day. Do not skip any meals and since the headaches worsen after eating food with white flour, avoid taking it in diet.
2) Exercise regularly (daily if possible) and limit stress through regular exercise and relaxation techniques. Yoga and meditation will also help.
3) Avoid bright or flashing lights and wear sunglasses if sunlight is a trigger.
4) Identify and avoid foods that trigger the symptoms by keeping a headache and food diary and limit caffeine consumption to less than two caffeine-containing beverages a day.
5) You can also try over the counter pain killers like aspirin or acetaminophen. If still the symptoms persist, then please consult a physician for specific anti-migraine therapy (triptophans and ergot preparations).
Hope this answers your query. I will be glad to answer the follow up queries that you have.
Please accept my answer in case you do not have further queries.
