I googled “ego, sense of control” because many times I feel like I have a wall up that is generated by my ego as a result of either fear, sensitivity, or vulnerability of some sort. I did it just for fun and because I’m a dork, but upon googling that I found an interesting article/site. Can’t wait to read more of it later, I like how the guy writes. I’m always fascinated with subjects on the ego and our perception of control.
“Ego is not entirely false. To say that “ego dies” really means, more precisely, that the cognitive structure labelled ‘ego’, and the egoic mental model of the world, are systematically re-conceived, just like the components of Newtonian physics were systematically re-conceived to form the new system of Einsteinian physics. Ego death means that the mind no longer centrally identifies with the ego. The locus of control or origin of control is no longer seriously taken to be the ego. The transcendent mind knows that there is a source of control underlying the ego, and that ego’s power of control is an epiphenomenon.
Imagine yourself as a Godlike entity — an ultimate controller. Like Kurt Vonnegut, you create a character in a novel, a figure in a cartoon, or an agent in a virtual world shown on a computer screen. You have the power to make this entity shake his fist at you and rebel. You can make him act as though he creates himself and steers his own actions, unrestrained by you. But ultimately, you are the real, higher or underlying source of his every decision. On strong doses of LSD, you feel yourself to be like such a character, awakened to his complete dependence on a higher, prior, hidden author: his God, his real controller. This awakening into the illusory aspect of ego’s power-to-control is a powerful feeling of cancellation of the heart of ego. This is the experience of ego death, the essence of religious rapture — the sense of the heart of your control being raped and trumped by an underlying, hidden source of control that must exist prior to, or giving rise to, your every act.”
Thank you for sharing this. 🙂 Some of the things on that website remind me of what Ozay describes about ego death. Did you ever get around to reading his book? I know you are busy, but I am sure you would like it. He says he did it through meditation while in solitary confinement. (I am going to try what he did later this year for six months). Maybe LSD would be easier, but I feel it is important to learn how to still the body and the mind to break through those barriers.
He is very active on Facebook — especially on the “Celtic Buddhism and Crazy Wisdom” group. You should check it out. 🙂
Agreed – I find the subject of drugs and their insight into higher perspectives really interesting, but I value the process of working through it yourself such as with meditation more valuable for that reason. I currently have four books I’m trying to get through — a Medicine on by Dr. Andrew Weil, two nutrition ones – both for my nutritional therapist cert, and my personal trainer book so I can take my test. Also trying to get my side businesses up and going, so I literally have no extra time since any of it goes to these things. Shit I don’t even play my favorite computer games anymore 😉 But as soon as I get through some of these books and take my tests I’ll be able to take on new books. I do want to read it though. Will check out the FB group too.
I thinks its cool that you are trying to become a personal trainer and start your own side business(es?). It sounds like a lot though. I suppose with personal training you have the ability to control how much work you take on though.
I can relate to not having enough time for stuff like PC games. 🙂 I used to play sc2 with my brother a lot, but not so much lately. It has been hectic trying to figure out what to do with my house when I am gone. What are your favorite games? Hmm.. maybe I asked you this before. I don’t remember. Hehe
Yep – I mostly did the personal training thing for extra knowledge and to be able to help others with that if they want. But, my main businesses will be centered around nutritional consulting, selling tshirts with illustrations on them related to health (that make learning about health fun and not seem like you’re learning about them), and WordPress websites for health coaches. I’m currently working on getting all of these in place so I can begin promoting – the tshirts thing is just something I do for fun and to get my creative brain going and work on illustration skills. I almost have one tshirt completed and am working on setting up a woocommerce shop on my health site, and working on the signup process for the rest.
I LOVE SC2, too, but it’s one of those games that I gave up on because I couldn’t put in the time to get better. Sometimes I still play the custom games though, like at a LAN party. I have a lot of games I love, but some of my favorites are the new Rayman (it’s so creative and fun, reminds me of my childhood), Diablo 3 (for when I want to mindlessly kill things), Trine, Quake 3 arena (an old classic I’ll never get sick of). That’s all I can think of right now… I know there’s more…
That is very cool. It seems like everything you are working towards is to help others. 🙂
Q3A is still awesome. That brings back memories. I used to play the original Quake with the Team Fortress mod all the time in high school.