Banyak orang tidak tahu bagaimana mencintai, karena sulit untuk dilihat bagaimana persepsi kita tentang seseorang dapat membawa kasih kepada mereka atau ide dari mereka dan kita tidak menyadarinya, tetapi pada akhirnya ini tidak benar-benar memiliki hubungan apapun dengan mereka. Sering kali dalam sebuah hubungan, kita benar-benar dalam hubungan dengan proyeksi kita sendiri pada orang tersebut dan sebaliknya, dan sering ada banyak kondisi dan harapan yang melekat padanya juga. Hubungan ini benar-benar seperti kontrak antara campuran proyeksi dua orang satu sama lainnya.

Saya pikir ini baik-baik saja dan itu adalah sifat manusia, tetapi juga saya percaya idealnya semua orang harus bercita-cita untuk mewujudkan suatu bentuk cinta yang lebih tinggi; satu yang tanpa syarat, bebas dari harapan dan kondisi, tidak memiliki definisi yang ketat dan aturan tetapi secara alami bergantung pada rasa kepercayaan yang kuat, dan hanya ada dengan belajar untuk menghargai orang dan semua lapisan mereka. Saya percaya hubungan tidak harus didasarkan pada rasa memiliki, melainkan benar-benar ingin orang tersebut untuk menjadi bahagia dan tidak menahan mereka atau mendefinisikan mereka karena keterikatan kita sendiri dan ide-ide, atau ide-ide masyarakat tentang apa sebuah hubungan seharusnya. Saya percaya hal ini hanya menodai potensinya.

Untuk mencapai tingkat cinta ini sulit karena pada akhirnya, itu adalah tentang pengorbanan diri dan mengharuskan setiap orang untuk mampu melepaskan diri. Hal ini juga melibatkan kehangatan jauh lebih sedikit dan pengaburan otak-termasuk zat kimia, sehingga ada lebih sedikit puncak yang terlibat. Tapi itu adalah bentuk dari cinta yang paling benar, yang tahan lama dan murni yang pada akhirnya akan bermanfaat dan benar-benar memungkinkan kita untuk belajar untuk benar-benar menghargai yang lain.

I just had a really long elaborate dream that a friend told me there was a way to communicate with the dead by looking in the mirror or basically going to a specific place in the house or outside – I think it’s mainly a mirror – and calling the person’s name. Soon you will see an image of where they are (whether it’s an image that manifests in your head or in reality, I am unsure) and you can watch them. You have to keep calling them until they can finally hear you. It said in my dream that people of the horse sign (which I’m assuming in my dream is referring to the Chinese zodiac) are the ones that are more likely to be able to hear it. Sometimes it’s really faint for them and so they won’t hear you and you will end up showing up in a very subtle way in their world and they have to be able to detect it.

In the dream my friend revealed the scene to me where in one case we were trying to reach someone and we were calling into the mirror, and in a mirror near them they were able to see me, but nowhere else.

I was in some house that I was living in with my friend and there was also another young girl there who had kind of a pushy personality, but we were kindof friends and she would pray and talk to some of her relatives every night too.

My mom had passed in the dream so I tried to reach her. I was actually able to easily reach her and have her notice that I was there – I don’t think she saw me in a mirror but actually just heard me calling. She was just sitting on the floor of some room and she was eating something like noodles. She looked and dressed exactly as I know her now. I was really excited and overjoyed to see her but she wasn’t really shocked that I was able to reach her.

She said that life after death is the exact same to her in a lot of ways that life on earth was except that there’s no pressure or competition to make any money or do anything any certain way, it is just living life and doing whatever you want. That it’s very relaxing.

I crossed over to her side and life over there did seem exactly like life here only there’s no money, and if you want to travel somewhere seems like you can travel anywhere you want. I am sure there were other differences that I didn’t notice so much in the dream but I was very focused on my mom, and my mom’s energy was very strong – it was the dominant factor in the dream. It was exactly like her normal energy only a less involved, more devoid of emotion, and a possibly less passionate energy.

It seemed more difficult to be able to read any of her emotions in the dream – she seemed more apathetic (though not in a really negative way).

I began walking around with her and she talked about her classes that she was actually taking, and I couldn’t tell if she had any friends or family that she talks to.

My friend relayed to me while I was walking around with her that some areas are better than others in order to reach them and maintain connection and that sometimes – like the internet – it loses connection in certain areas or can.

I told my mom this and she goes “he’s going to ruin it” and I said no he’s not – I know how to reach you and you are actually really easy to reach. I told her that Cory was in med school now and that she was having a hard time and that she would love to see you, so I told her I would bring her sometime.

She beckoned me to follow her again and was taking me deep in the city. I have no idea where she was trying to take me or if it was just to explore. I remember sometimes she walked differently in the dream – she walked crazy fast sometimes out of nowhere and I couldn’t keep up with her, and sometimes it was in a very straight, almost rigid fashion. When I couldn’t keep up I would just reach out my hand and she would grab it and pull me up close to her. Sometimes while walking it also looked like she almost or was about to trip (but didn’t).

That was basically the end of the dream when I was following her around because I suddenly woke up.

On the way home from work today:

Just got it and it’s already filled up! Love it and ordering another one for Japanese studies.

If there’s one way I could describe my day-to-day experience of life, it would be that it’s very surreal. Just talking to people, anyone, is surreal.

It’s no surprise I have a rich inner/mental life, and I believe that surrealism is indicative that my brain is wired to allow me to be mostly present within a part of me that is not on the surface enough to be fully involved in my constant interactions with people and with my experience of life. I identify more with a part of myself that is beyond these things.

As a result, it makes it more difficult for me to participate in these things as it creates this constant disconnect, but not quite so disconnected that I’m disassociated from all these interactions completely. Just enough to create that sense of surrealism and a draw to solitude.

Combating Emotional Vampires
From Combating Emotional Vampires On-Line Course

by Dr. Judith Orloff

The following is an excerpt from the “Combating Emotional Vampires” on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.

Relationships are always an energy exchange. To stay feeling our best, we must ask ourselves: Who gives us energy? Who saps it? It’s important to be surrounded by supportive, heart-centered people who make us feel safe and secure. It’s equally important to pinpoint the emotional vampires, who, whether they intend to or not, leech our energy.

To protect your sensitivity, it’s imperative to name and combat these emotional vampires. They’re everywhere: coworkers, neighbors, family, and friends. In Energy Psychiatry I’ve treated a revolving door of patients who’ve been hard-hit by drainers–truly a mental health epidemic that conventional medicine doesn’t see. I’m horrified by how many of these “emotionally walking wounded” (ordinarily perceptive, intelligent individuals) have become resigned to chronic anxiety or depression. Why the blind spot? Most of us haven’t been educated about draining people or how to emancipate ourselves from their clutches, requisite social skills for everyone desiring freedom. Emotional draining is a touchy subject. We don’t know how to tactfully address our needs without alienating others. The result: We get tongue-tied, or destructively passive. We ignore the SOS from our gut that screams, “Beware!” Or, quaking in our boots, we’re so afraid of the faux pas of appearing “impolite” that w! e become martyrs in lieu of being respectfully assertive. We don’t speak out because we don’t want to be seen as “difficult” or uncaring.

Vampires do more than drain our physical energy. The super-malignant ones can make you believe you’re an unworthy, unlovable wretch who doesn’t deserve better. The subtler species inflict damage that’s more of a slow burn. Smaller digs here and there can make you feel bad about yourself such as, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “It’s not lady-like to interrupt.” In a flash, they’ve zapped you by prodding areas of shaky self-worth.

This is my credo for vampires: Their antics are unacceptable; you must develop a successful plan for coping with them. I deeply believe in the merciful message of The Lord’s Prayer to “forgive people their trespasses,” but I’m also a proponent of preventing the unconscious or mean-spirited from trespassing against us. Taking a stand against draining people is a form of self-care and canny communication that you must practice to give your freedom legs.

What turns someone into an emotional vampire? First, a psychological reason: children often reflexively mimic their parents’ most unflattering traits. A self-absorbed father can turn you into a self-absorbed son. Early modeling has impact. Studies of Holocaust survivors reveal that many became abusive parents themselves. The second explanation involves subtle energy. I’ve observed that childhood trauma–mistreatment, loss, parental alcoholism, illness–can weaken a person’s energy field. This energy leakage may condition those with such early wounds to draw on the vitality of others to compensate; it’s not something most are aware of. Nevertheless, the effects can be extreme. Visualize an octopus-like tendril extending from their energy field and glomming onto yours. Your intuition may register this as sadness, anger, fatigue, or a cloying, squirrelly feeling. The degree of mood change or physical reaction may vary. A vampire’s effects can stun like a sonic blast or make you! slowly wilt. But it’s the rare drainer that sets out to purposely enervate you. The majority act unconsciously, oblivious to being an emotional drain.

Let me tell you the secret of how a vampire operates so you can outsmart one. A vampire goes in for the kill by stirring up your emotions. Pushing your buttons throws you off center, which renders you easier to drain. Of all the emotional types, empaths are often the most devastated. However, certain emotional states increase everyone’s vulnerability. I myself am most susceptible to emotional vampires when I feel desperate, tired, or disempowered. Here are some others:

• Low self-esteem
  
• Depression
  
• A victim mentality
  
• Fear of asserting yourself
  
• Addiction to people-pleasing

  When encountering emotional vampires, see what you can learn too. It’s your choice. You can simply feel tortured, resentful, and impotent. Or, as I try to do, ask yourself, “How can this interchange help me grow?” Every nanosecond of life, good, bad, or indifferent, is a chance to become emotionally freer, enlarge the heart. If we’re to have any hope of breaking war-mongering patterns, we must each play a part. As freedom fighters, strive to view vampires as opportunities to enlist your highest self and not be a sucker for negativity. Then you’ll leave smelling like a rose, even with Major-League Draculas. 

Had another migraine last night. First full migraine since the last one recorded on this blog. I’m not sure what triggered it, and initially I wasn’t sure if it was a migraine or not, but nausea accompanied it and it got more painful with time. Finally slept it off. Today I don’t feel much of a “postdrome,” though I was pretty worn out today despite having slept a good amount, so that could be considered one. So far the only thing I can see as triggering the migraine would be stress and possibly dehydration (though I doubt the latter since I’m not that dehydrated).

 

 

After this last migraine I had (about a week ago), I actually had somewhat of a postdrome phase. Fatigue and irritability afterwards, but most notably I’ve had what feels like enlarging and constricting of blood vessels in my head intermittently accompanied by mild pain. It’s not that bothersome, but I just wonder why it’s happening. It feels like almost the beginning of a migraine when it happens, then goes away within seconds. For some peace of mind, I asked a doctor online (on those websites where you can pay to submit a question to a doctor and they respond within the next few hours). One of them gave me this response, which I believe is fairly accurate:

Hello,

Thanks for posting your query.

The minor spasms that you are feeling is likely to be a milder form of migraine that has persisted after the attack is over. This is not a worrisome finding and the symptoms are likely to subside on their own in next few days.
For such symptoms, try these lifestyle modifications:

1) Go to sleep and wake up at the same time each day. Do not skip any meals and since the headaches worsen after eating food with white flour, avoid taking it in diet.

2) Exercise regularly (daily if possible) and limit stress through regular exercise and relaxation techniques. Yoga and meditation will also help.

3) Avoid bright or flashing lights and wear sunglasses if sunlight is a trigger.

4) Identify and avoid foods that trigger the symptoms by keeping a headache and food diary and limit caffeine consumption to less than two caffeine-containing beverages a day.

5) You can also try over the counter pain killers like aspirin or acetaminophen. If still the symptoms persist, then please consult a physician for specific anti-migraine therapy (triptophans and ergot preparations).

Hope this answers your query. I will be glad to answer the follow up queries that you have.
Please accept my answer in case you do not have further queries.