Jan 11 2015 Superstition Climb to Flat Iron Peak & Peak #5024

This was an grueling and incredible 8 hour hike we did. I have never felt so taxed after any physical activity and it actually took me a couple days to recover from the fatigue. But being in the solitary desert does wonders for the spirit! After our hike, we made beef stew on a propane stove on a bench at the bottom of the mountain. It was dark and we were the only ones around. I wish I could do this every weekend!

Christmas in Colorado

Had such a relaxing trip in Colorado. It was so awesome to see everyone again after having been so long, and I felt so rejuvenated when I got back. I realized that that was the first time I had really relaxed in a while and not tried to do one million things a minute. It helped me see that taking time to relax is just as productive as trying to focus on being productive! Leslie’s kids are adorable – it was great to see how well-rounded they are and I had so much fun hanging out with them!

Teeth and Their Demise

Teeth issues are fun. In the same way that I’ve been through so much debilitating anxiety that I feel like I could be a counselor in that realm, I’ve had so many teeth issues that sometimes I feel like the road to becoming a dentist would feel very familiar and the transition into dentistry wouldn’t be so difficult.

Actually, I was going to write a post about how I feel like by the time people are age 30 many of us are weighed down, sometimes permanently, and our minds and identities are defined by the experiences we’ve had – and I feel like we need a refresher. A bone-deep refresher; to be reborn. Our minds hold the key to this potential.

But, there’s really only so much thinking I can do when I’ve been dealing with an exposed tooth nerve.

I had braces in 4th grade and had them on for around 4.5 years. This I believe not only weakened my teeth but it made it very easy to get cavities on top of my not-so-great childhood brushing habits. I also am naturally prone to cavities. Whether it be prone to more bacteria forming in my mouth or the lack of enzyme required to break down food quite as well, I don’t know, but there is such a thing. Some peoples’ teeth can withstand a certain amount of not brushing enough. Mine couldn’t. When I got my braces off, I had 14 cavities that needed to be filled.

Fast forward through many years, about 13 years, of not visiting a dentist, an overly sugary diet (as most typical Western diets are) due to not knowing better, somewhat better brushing habits (but still pretty lacking in my current opinion) and the progression of age. Once I finally visited the dentist after all this time, I started to get the picture that hey, this shit matters, it cost many monies and many more monies over time. I started brushing more and flossing more, but the teeth just wanted to crumble.

Fast forward to now – I’m 30 years old, haven’t had an actual cavity in a while, excellent oral hygiene, but am still very likely encroaching upon my 4th root canal (if this exposed tooth nerve does not fix itself) and I also have a missing molar. Occasionally I have to do things like replace old fillings that aren’t holding up well, etc. I have thousands of dollars invested in my teeth and have even driven down to Mexico 3 times to have them do a root canal when I was sick and tired of paying 2k for the entire procedure here. I still only paid A QUARTER in Mexico of what I would have paid here, and that includes gas money. I still don’t know how they did, because truly, only time will tell.

Mexico (Los Algodones) is really great for teeth care though, if you do your research and find a reputable dentist. It is just extremely cost-effective. However it was quite a different experience than what I’ve experienced here. Multiple dentists worked on my tooth during different parts of the procedure and they don’t talk to you much. Even though they knew I spoke Spanish, they didn’t quite have the bedside manner that I’ve experienced in the U.S. They were there to get the job done and that’s it. This root canal was the only one I had ever had done on a bottom molar, and the procedure itself hurt like hell, which was a first too.  They kept sticking those measuring needles into my gums and would occasionally hit a nerve (I am guessing) and the pain would sear through my jaw. I kept raising my hand telling them I was in pain and they would numb me up a bit more but it just wasn’t reaching that area. I also wondered what they used for a numbing agent and thought maybe it wasn’t as strong, but really I just think where they were hitting was deeper than the area that was being numbed up.

So that was fun.

But pre-root canal tooth pain is the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. Ever. But a couple times I had no idea anything had gotten to that point of needing one. Many people who don’t have teeth problems will say “just visit your dentist regularly and don’t let your teeth get to that point.” Well, sometimes it’s not that easy. I am at the dentist’s office what feels like all the time. Unless they are frequently doing rescans of your entire mouth, sometimes it’s impossible to catch something before it needs a root canal. In my case, they are usually doing cleanings or working on other areas that needed help that were detected on the original xray. Sometimes nothing hurts at all so there is no pain indicator. Sometimes you just have an exposed nerve because some dentist did a shitty filling that took up a lot of the tooth and shit just fell apart. That’s why understanding how cosmetic dentistry can transform your smile isn’t just about aesthetics, it can also play a role in preventing bigger dental issues before they become painful emergencies.

Anyway, I know a lot about teeth issues, and I’ve been to many different dentists. I have certainly found that it is always wise to get a second opinion in dentistry. I’ve had the occurrence multiple times now of some dentists saying I needed something done and others saying I didn’t. I do not think it is uncommon that they prescribe work that doesn’t really need to be done.

I also avoid root canals at all costs unless I’m in unmanageable pain, which is why I am sitting here tonight taking colloidal silver (after much research on the product), oil of oregano, grapefruit seed extract, eating lots of garlic and onions, using hydrogen peroxide mouthwash, the occasional ibuprofen and praying that it will get better on its own without the need of a root canal.

But that is all for tonight on teeth. I’m beyond exhausted and am going to try to sleep through the night — the dark, quiet night, which is just when my exposed nerve likes to get extremely angry at me. Wish me luck.

 

Zuigan Calls His Own Master

Zuigan called out to himself every day: ‘Master.’
Then he answered himself: ‘Yes, sir.’
And after that he added: ‘Become sober.’
Again he answered: ‘Yes, sir.’
‘And after that,’ he continued, ‘do not be deceived by others.’
‘Yes, sir; yes, sir,’ he answered.

Mumon’s Comment: Old Zuigan sells out and buys himself. He is opening a puppet show. He uses one mask to call ‘Master’ and another that answers the master. Another mask says ‘Sober up’ and another, ‘Don’t be cheated by others.’
If anyone clings to any of his masks, he is mistaken, yet if he imitates Zuigan, he will make himself fox-like*.

 Some Zen students do not realize the true man in a mask

Because they recognize ego-soul.
Ego-soul is the seed of birth and death,
And foolish people call it the true man.

My notes on this story:
This is from a book of Zen stories + koans called “The Gateless Gate”. They are written in a way that can sometimes be hard to understand because they are all aimed at helping to cut through the obstructions in your mind. They must be read and interpreted in a different way than if you are just reading in your typical way to accumulate knowledge.

The lesson in this one is that most people define themselves and act based upon the identity their ego has shaped and defined for themselves. Most people also are fooled into thinking that that is their true nature or who they actually are, when in fact it can just be seen as a buildup of concepts that obstructs their true nature.

Most people in life that you encounter have this buildup to differing degrees. Almost everyone I meet including myself has multiple struggles and challenges with their own ego and identity. Those who have sought out what is behind that and attempted to clear away this “buildup” are exceptionally (yet also relatively) self-aware.

*Foxes are mentioned often in Zen stories as it is a big part of Japanese culture. The way you can interpret its relevance to this story is that foxes often employ the ability to trick others; therefore if you imitate others you are merely just being deceptive.

Reflections on Effort

The anxious student asked the Zen master how long to enlightenment. The Zen Master answered a long time, at least 10 years. The student said, “Well I will work twice as hard.” The Zen master said, “Then it will take 20 years.” “No!” said the committed student, “I will work three times as hard.” “Well then,” said the Zen master, “it will take 30 years.”

Do you need to work at being spiritual? No. You already are spiritual. Do you need to work at being human? No. That’s just who you are.

The spiritual path doesn’t require us to get anything. It’s a process of opening to new dimensions of who we already are. It’s a process of awakening to our own truth. It’s a process of allowing ourselves to be authentic.

“It is not by your actions that you will be saved, but by your being.”
— Meister Eckhart

“People ask what must they become to be loving. The answer is ‘nothing.’ It is a process of letting go of what you thought you had become and allowing your true nature to float to the surface naturally.”
— Stephen Levine

i wish…

I wish more people knew the extent to which their minds can create their realities – most people have heard many times that perception is everything. However, I think where people (and myself) have had trouble with this is they are still too attached to perceptions that are influencing them from external sources. Whether that be emotions they experience, society’s expectations or their parents’ expectations, or just what they’ve come to understand people and life as.

There is so much that we can know intellectually, but as in many things, it comes down to how we use that information. Life is difficult; it is full of people who have lost their minds and souls, full of businesses and governments that don’t have you in their best interest. Business often rules all, not humanity. Everything can be cold, harsh, and it can feel like a big letdown from what we thought life should be like.

If we choose to though, we truly can turn every negative thought or perception into something positive or productive and beneficial.

Our minds are truly the gateway to a heaven on earth.

But it takes practice. Daily practice in detaching yourself from what is, and realizing that just because it IS doesn’t mean it should be, or will forever be.

The world can be in ruin, but you don’t have to be. You can be free.

Our minds are the gateway that will take us from this world to the next. The earth and all its people as it is now are a temporary thing, but our minds are ethereal, able to transform, able to create anything.

You just have to put in the effort, and don’t settle for less.