After five years we have come together by the magic of the world. Without words, he knows me.
As I grew in spirit, I came to love him, but on another dimension of love. It was a love that lived in the realm of the spirit, a realm that not many people reach.
It is a love based on self-control, on awareness, on a specific elevation of the soul that is only possible by the right combinations of humility, clarity, courage, acceptance, and openness.
Month: February 2015
Old writing I found
found this from 2007 that i emailed myself.. something I wrote about someone significant in my life:
I wanted to write something about a certain someone in my life who has been one of my life’s secret treasures. A pleasure yet also a fair amount of pain I have suffered due to his beauty and wisdom.
And now and then my friends and family would hear remnants of his being in my life but, only remnants so I wanted to write something that revealed the space of him. The space of him revealed itself to me only in silence yet now I hear and see it through all things. The space of him is like the space of the universe. In the lines of his palms lie the drying out rivers, in his eyes contain the waves of the ocean, and the mysterious howling of the wind echoes the beating of his heart.
Through him it has been revealed that even through the most soulful expression of words, or the most colorful picture painted of life by the artist, or even the most eventful and diverse life of a human being; there is yet still something greater out there, that lives a deeper vibration.
But it is silent, it is colorless, and it is subtle, and it takes courage to find it, and close attention to listen to it, and it requires going past all form or concept and tracing back to its source; it requires a devoted and intuitive involvement with the deepest messages of your heart and soul.
To live this source is to live with the full substance of your being.
As a child, I wrote a poem about dreaming with flying with the birds, with the most genuine of beauty leaking out of our souls. Someone read this poem of mine and commented, “this genuine beauty you speak of is truth.”
Well it is this person I choose to fly with, only right now his wings are spread and full grown, while I am just learning to fly.
His wings soar through the winds of change as he echoes the sound of the universe clearly and effortlessly, while I am wobbling along with my wings shaky and trembling, now cognizant of the greatness of his love and the massiveness echoed through his being, yet still too fearful to let go of my tension and allow my wings to be free and fly.
But in my heart, I know one day together we will be echoing love, and flying free in the spacious sky of the universe and I will have no more fear. As each day I feel my love growing and energy flowing and someday my barriers will just fall away.
For now he is only in my dreams, for until my barriers are released and I am able to fly, my mind can only go so far. But from a distant shore I feel his love calling to me and I begin to feel the significance of what lies ahead.
For through him I’ve felt the significance of silence and the mark of clarity.
I’ve felt the love that is so great that it shakes the ground you walk on until you yourself see and feel the freedom that your mind is capable of.
In my dreams I feel his warm, yet subtle compassion that covers me completely like a blanket in the midst of the cold; I feel his pure skin touching mine, free of judgment, quietly and discreetly whispering to me: “be patient — your time will come, but for now I will warm your heart with the subtle essence of my love and allow you to spread your wings in peace so that you may grow as I have been able to.”